


learning about feelings really sucks - a novel by beetlejuice

by ThirteenthMouse6572



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comedy, Fluff, Gen, Getting Together, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships, beetlebabes this ain't for you, it's beej so the usual package deal with him, move along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-11-09 02:16:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20845901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirteenthMouse6572/pseuds/ThirteenthMouse6572
Summary: The last thing Lydia expected to see when she heard someone out on the front porch at one in the morning was a familiar demon yelling out at the darkness.The Maitland-Deetz household didn't expect to get stuck with a demon who couldn't leave, but getting what you want and what you need are two very different things.





	1. Stuck (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> oh what's this? a new story despite all the ones i haven't finished? it's more likely than you think
> 
> the beetlejuice cast owns my heart
> 
> not beta read, please point out any grammatical errors :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might be ooc, but i've never written a bj fanfic
> 
> also only seen the first act of the musical so please excuse any glaring plot holes, i'm going off of other fanfictions for canon truth
> 
> (a bit short, it's a prolouge. future chapters will be longer)

The last thing Lydia expected to see when she heard someone out on the front porch at one in the morning was a familiar demon yelling out at the darkness, his hair a mixture of white and bright red. “No! You can’t do this to me!” Despite the barrier of the door, Beetlejuice’s cries sounded like he was right in front of Lydia. “Bring me back there or God/Satan help me, I will get you eaten by another sandworm!”

The yelling seemed to attract the attention of the two ghosts Lydia thought of as her other parents. “Lydia?” Adam asked as he and Barbara joined Lydia on the staircase. “Why is _he_ out there?”

Lydia shrugged. “I’m not sure. He woke me up as well with his yelling.” The three stood there, looking out at Beetlejuice, who’s hair was slowly being overcome with more white than red.

“Please! Fucking please! I can’t be here!” Beetlejuice took a few steps off the porch before he appeared suddenly back in front of the door, his hair now completely white and seeming to glow in the little moonlight that was coming through. “No! No, no, no!” He sunk to the floor, out of sight of the three onlookers.

Lydia stepped forward, ignoring the warnings from the Maitlands and quietly opened the front door. Beetlejuice was sitting cross-legged on the porch, his hands tangled in his shock-white hair. He didn’t seem to realise the new company, muttering to himself inaudibly. “Beej?” Lydia called softly, getting the demon’s attention. Beetlejuice looked up, his eyes wide, and shuffled away from Lydia as far as the porch railing let him. He didn’t say anything, which was unusual to Lydia. “Why are you out here, Beej?” she questioned.

Beetlejuice looked down at the porch. Lydia took the opportunity to look back inside at the Maitlands, who looked concerned. For her or Beetlejuice, she wasn’t quite sure. “Hey,” Lydia said to the demon, “why don’t you come inside?” Beetlejuice looked up, his hair fading into a light green. “I mean, it’s one in the morning. Surely you can’t stay out here all night.”

“A-are you sure?” Part of Lydia winced at the voice crack.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Lydia said, opening the door wide enough for the demon and smiling. Beetlejuice slowly stood up, eyes on Lydia the whole time. Lydia walked inside and watched the Maitlands slowly realise what was happening.

“Lydia, dear, is that really a good idea?” Barbara asked, looking at what Lydia assumed was Beetlejuice behind her. “You know what happened last time.”

Lydia nodded. “We can’t just leave him outside, though,” she argued. “Can’t he just sleep on the couch and we can figure out what to do in the morning?”

Adam and Barbara looked at each other and back to Lydia and Beetlejuice. “Okay, but if he does anything weird it won’t end well,” Adam said. Lydia turned to Beetlejuice and grinned, receiving a small smile in return.

Lydia and the two ghosts helped Beetlejuice get settled in the living room with a spare blanket from her room and a pillow from the extra bedroom. She wasn’t entirely sure if demons even slept, but at least Beetlejuice would be comfortable. Strangely, Beetlejuice didn’t say anything the whole time, just stood in the corner of the room not making eye contact with any of them. “Goodnight, Beej,” Lydia said once they finished and the Maitlands had gone back to the attic.

“Uh, Lyds?” Beetlejuice said. “I-I, uh, appreciate…” he gestured to the couch, “this.”

“You’re welcome, Beej. Goodnight,” Lydia smiled at her ex-best friend; well, she never really _stopped_ considering him her best friend. Even after the wedding incident. She walked upstairs to her bedroom, blissfully ignoring what will happen in the morning.


	2. The Maitland's Model

“Lydia, there is no way we can keep him here! You know what happened last time he showed up!” Charles argued. Delia stood behind him, while Lydia stood protectively in front of Beetlejuice, who was surprised at the posture the teenager had.

“Can’t we give him a second chance, Dad?” Lydia asked.

Adam placed a hand on Lydia’s shoulder. “How about we give Beetlejuice a chance to explain himself?” he suggested, looking to the demon in question. Lydia turned around to look at Beetlejuice, who shrugged in reply.

“Look, Chuck, I get that you don’t exactly want me here,” Beetlejuice explained, glaring at him. “I don’t want to be here either, but I can’t leave. I’ve tried to, trust me, but I’m stuck here indefinitely. Sorry to ruin your day.” Everyone looked at Beetlejuice with sympathy on their faces. “Don’t look at me like that,” Beetlejuice said. “I’ll go sit outside while I figure out how the fuck to leave if you don’t mind.”

The house was silent as Beetlejuice walked out and slammed the front door with a bit more drama than needed. Sue him, he’s been dramatic for the past 600 years, old habits die (ha) hard. He sat out on the porch in silence, silently cursing Juno and the sandworm that let her out way too early for his liking. His (not) sulking was interrupted by the door opening and Barbara poking her head out.

“Whaddya want, Babs?” Beetlejuice asked. “I’m having a moment.”

Barbara sighed. “Come inside, Beetlejuice. Charles and Delia said that you can stay for today, and they’ll decide what you can do when they get home.” Beetlejuice felt bad for snapping at her. “It’ll just be you, Adam and I today since Lydia has to go to school.”

Beetlejuice wasn’t sure if she was trying to bribe him into coming inside, but it worked whether she was or not. He got up from the floor and followed her inside, where he promptly ignored the two adult Deetzs and sat on the couch where Lydia was pulling on shoes. “D’ya have to go to school? It’s going to be so boring here,” he asked dramatically, draping himself over the arm of the couch.

Lydia laughed and smacked his thigh. “I’m sure you’ll find some way to entertain yourself, Beej,” she said, standing up. “The Maitlands are staying with you anyway. And you’ve got free range of the T.V.”

Beetlejuice hummed to himself and sat up. “If you ever get annoyed at school, y’know how to call me,” he said, winking at Lydia.

“Would that even work, if you can’t leave the house?” Lydia asked. “Or are you only stuck here because you haven’t been summoned?”

“Who knows? Only one way to find out.”

“I’m not summoning you, Beej. My parents would kill me,” Lydia laughed. “I’ve got to go now. Have fun with the Maitlands, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Well, just don’t do anything really dumb, anyway.”

“No promises, Lyds.”

Beetlejuice watched silently as Lydia said goodbye to everyone standing in the kitchen and ran out the door. He remained on the couch as he listened to Charles and Delia leaving as well, leaving only him and the ghosts in the house. He was joined in the living room by Adam and Barbara, who sat silently on the loveseat opposite to Beetlejuice.

“Why are you here, Beetlejuice?” Adam asked after a long silence. “We know you can’t leave, but how did you get here in the first place?”

“Got kicked out by my mother,” Beetlejuice said bluntly. “Said I was ‘too much of a nuisance’ or something. Jokes on her, I didn’t even like the Netherworld anyway. It sucks.”

The following silence made Beetlejuice uncomfortable, so he reached for the T.V remote and turned it on. The first channel was a horror movie that Beetlejuice had seen one too many times before. He noticed Adam and Barbara leave after he laughed at a particularly gory scene, but didn’t say anything about it. So, what if he was alone in the living room while they went to be lovebirds in the attic? Who cares? He certainly didn’t.

During an ad break, Beetlejuice briefly caught his reflection in the screen of the T.V. He knew he usually looked like a corpse, but _wow_, he really looked like shit. Thankfully, the screen lit back up soon after but he wasn’t interested in the movie anymore. He stood up from the couch and floated up the stairs to the attic.

He stopped at the door, nearly floating through it. He remembered Lydia’s words to not do anything really dumb and the fact that Charles could just throw him out onto the porch indefinitely if he did something bad. Instead of going through the door, Beetlejuice knocked. The quiet conversation from the residents inside stopped, and Beetlejuice shifted awkwardly on the stairs.

The door opened, revealing a confused looking Adam. “You knocked,” he stated.

“Keen observation, Adam,” Beetlejuice said. “Gonna let me in?”

“Uh, sure.” Adam opened the door further and stepped aside so Beetlejuice could walk past into the attic. “Weren’t you watching a movie?”

Beetlejuice shrugged. “Got bored,” he replied. “Can’t I hang out with my favourite ghosts?” He winked at Barbara, who just shook her head.

“Sure, you can, Beetlejuice,” she said.

Beetlejuice looked at the item taking up a lot of space in the attic. It was a model of the town, as far as Beetlejuice could tell. He hadn’t been outside much the last time he was around. “What’s this?” he asked. “Wasn’t here last time.”

“Oh!” Adam sounded excited to talk about the model. “It’s a model of the town! Lydia’s been taking photos of all the buildings for me. It’s not quite done yet; I’ve got to finish the graveyard and some of the river. I’m waiting for Lydia on that, she’s been a bit busy and I don’t remember much since it was so long ago that I last saw those places.”

Beetlejuice wasn’t paying attention, instead, he was just watching Adam’s face light up as he talked about the model. Out of the corner of his eye, Beetlejuice saw Barbara looking at Adam with a small smile on her face. “Unfortunately,” Adam’s voice got Beetlejuice’s attention again, “I ran out of paints and I can’t exactly go and buy anymore.”

Looking at the model, Beetlejuice pushed some of his magic into the town, making the model cars and people move about like it was alive. Adam gasped as he saw what Beetlejuice did. Barbara joined her husband at the model and was equally speechless. “Beetlejuice this is…” Adam didn’t finish his sentence, just looked between Beetlejuice and the model. “How did you do that?”

“Pretty simple. You two could do that as well if you practised,” Beetlejuice explained. “You just have to think of something coming to life and it’ll probably happen.” He looked around and saw a small toy person who had been knocked off the model and picked it up, placing it on a hill. He gestured towards the new addition. “Try it.”

Adam looked at the small person and concentrated. If Beetlejuice wasn’t paying attention to the model and instead he was looking at Adam’s (admittedly cute) concentration face, well, then it didn’t matter much.

“Adam! You did it!” Barbara said excitedly. Beetlejuice looked down and, sure enough, a person was walking down the sidewalk where a model previously stood.

Adam looked surprised with himself. “I… I did! Holy heck!”

“Woah, language Adam. Calm down,” Beetlejuice joked, grinning at the couple.

Adam looked at Beetlejuice with a smile on his face which made Beetlejuice 99% sure that if he were alive he would be blushing. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Beetlejuice. I wouldn’t have even known I could do that if you hadn’t told me.”

“I, uh, I’m going to watch another stupid breather movie,” Beetlejuice turned and walked towards the attic door stiffly and walked downstairs, trying to ignore Barbara’s call of ‘pink suits you!’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to point out any mistakes, this fic is unbeta'd :)


	3. The Crushes (Dun Dun Dun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gotta love that classic beej oversharing amirite fellas?

Lydia swung open the front door, announcing her presence to her ghostly parents with a loud ‘I’m home!’. Adam’s head poked out from the living room and greeted her with a smile as he walked into the kitchen.

“Hey Lydia, how was school?” he asked, opening the fridge and making a face at whatever he encountered.

Lydia took place on one of the chairs at the counter, watching as Adam pulled out a container of leftovers from a dinner Lydia didn’t remember eating. She waved to Barbara as Adam was joined in his impromptu ‘clean out the fridge’ adventure. “It was great!” she answered. “There’s a new girl named Hayley who’s in some of my classes and she’s into the supernatural as well!”

“That’s wonderful, dear,” Barbara replied, smiling at Lydia. “Maybe you should invite her over some time.”

Lydia nodded in agreement. “Yeah! I haven’t told her about you guys yet, since realising that the creepy haunted house out of town _is_ haunted might be a bit odd.” She looked around, peeking into the living room. “Hey, where’s Beej?” she asked.

Both ghosts looked at each other. “We’re not sure,” Adam said. “He said he was watching a movie, but we haven’t seen him in a couple of hours.”

“I’ll go find him,” Lydia hummed. “Maybe he’ll want to meet Hayley!” She didn’t miss the look the Maitlands shared at that information, but it wasn’t as if she was just going to tell Hayley she lived with a demon; two ghosts were enough.

The first place she looked, surprisingly, was the place she found him. “Beej why are you on the floor of my bedroom?” she asked, throwing her schoolbag onto her bed and sitting beside the demon on the floor. She got a groan in response. “Adam and Barbara said you were watching a movie.”

“I’m hiding from my problems, kid,” Beetlejuice replied, his hair gaining a purple tinge. “Never heard of doing that?”

Lydia laughed and joined him lying on the floor, using one of his arms as a pillow. “What? Or who?” she asked. “Are your problems to do with my ghost parents?”

“Yes!” Beetlejuice said. “How can they be so _adorable_ and _nice_ at the same time? I nearly got Babs _killed_ and yet!”

“That’s just how the parent-lands are, Beej. Maybe they’ll help convince Dad and Delia to let you stay.” Lydia sat up and stretched. “Speaking of, how did you get here in the first place?”

A flash of red went through Beetlejuice’s hair, replaced with green quick enough that Lydia didn’t quite think she saw it. “The usual, y’know. I was being too annoying, got kicked out of the house indefinitely by mother dearest,” he explained. “Dunno why I’m here, though.”

Lydia shrugged. “Me neither. I’m glad you did get put here, though. I’d probably be super bored after school with nobody to talk with.” Lydia gasped as she remembered Hayley. “Oh! I made a friend at school today! She’s into all that supernatural stuff, thought you’d like to meet her at some point.”

The change of subject made Beetlejuice perk up. “Did'ya tell her you lived with two ghosts and a demon as your BFFFF forever?” He grinned at the last part.

“Not yet. It’d probably freak her out a bit if I just went ‘oh yeah, my second set of parents are ghosts and my best friend is a demon’, don’t you think?”

Beetlejuice shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think so.”

Lydia gave him a look and shook her head. “What did you do today, anyway? Or did you just hide here from your problems all day?”

“Come on, Lyds! I’m trying to hide from my problems, not talk about them!” Beetlejuice didn’t seem annoyed, though. “Adam talked about his weird tiny town thing in the attic, and I showed Adam and Babs how to make things that aren’t alive, alive.” At Lydia’s confused expression, he elaborated, “like, those little model people and cars he uses. Not a dead bug on the floor like some necromancy crap.”

“And how did they become your problems?” Lydia asked, wondering how much she could get out of her friend before he switched the topic.

“Ah ah ah, kid. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do.” Apparently he could read her thoughts. How scary. “You’ve gotta bring that new friend of yours over, see how bad I can scare her.”

Before Lydia could reply with something berating Beetlejuice, she heard her name being called by Delia, who had apparently come home in the time she was talking with Beetlejuice. “Want to come down?” Lydia offered the demon.

“I’ll stay up here. You deal with Donna,” Beetlejuice said, closing his eyes.

Lydia nodded – more to herself than Beetlejuice – and walked downstairs, where Delia, Adam and Barbara were standing in the kitchen. It appeared Adam had finished cleaning out the fridge, as there was a significant amount of empty Tupperware containers in the sink now. “Hey Delia,” Lydia said, jumping over the last step on the stairs. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been thinking about our… uh, ‘guest’. If he promises not to be as obnoxious as he was last time, I don’t mind him staying here.” It seemed to take a lot for Delia to say that. “The final decision is down to your father, but I’m on your side.”

“So are we,” Barbara said. “He isn’t so bad if you think about it. He’s just a really big extrovert.” Adam nodded in agreement.

Lydia hugged Delia, who let out a startled yelp in the process. “Thanks, Delia. I appreciate it,” she said, grinning at her future step-mother. “Oh! I should probably go tell Beej!”

She ran back upstairs, slightly out of breath when she reached the top, and into her room. Beetlejuice had migrated from the floor to her desk and was writing something down on what Lydia hoped was paper. “Whatcha doing, Beej?” she asked, walking over and peering at (thankfully) the sheet of paper.

It had various messed-up ‘B’s over the paper, but Beetlejuice seemed to be persistent in whatever endeavour he was on. “Tryna spell my name,” Beetlejuice said. “Stupid thing won’t let me, though.”

Lydia grabbed a pencil and wrote down _Beetlejuice_ on the paper, earning her a flat stare. “Thanks for rubbing it in, babes. I know _how_ to spell my name,” Beetlejuice said. “I’m just _not allowed to_ spell it. Can’t let breathers know I exist that easy, right?” Lydia nodded in agreement. “What did Deborah want?”

“She decided that you can stay, but that Dad has the final decision,” Lydia said, slightly disappointed in the second piece of information.

“Isn’t it like, ‘majority rules’ or something? Or do the Maitlands not actually want me here?” Beetlejuice commented, staring down at the paper full of Bs.

“No! They want you here!” Lydia explained. “Barbara even said that you ‘weren’t so bad’, which I guess is a compliment.”

“God/Satan, why are they so _nice_? It is entirely unfair that someone could possibly be that nice.” Beetlejuice hit his head on Lydia’s desk, knocking a pencil off in the process. “_Adam_ smiled at me when I taught him the most basic trick in the book! Who does that? A fucking toddler could’ve done that trick if it had the goddamn brainpower, but he looked like I just showed him how to tame a sandworm!”

Lydia said nothing, which worked in keeping Beetlejuice talking to avoid silence.

“How do you breathers _deal_ with this stuff? Emotions and shit, y’know? I feel like I’ve just been stabbed in the heart – not fun, by the way, wouldn’t recommend – like 50 times. Can you believe?”

Lydia laughed a little. “Sounds like someone has a crush,” she sung jokingly, patting Beetlejuice’s shoulder. “Or two crushes, to be more precise.”

“Absolutely not, Lyds. I do _not_ have a crush on the Maitlands,” Beetlejuice stated. “I’m just expressing my dislike for how nice they are with no particular reason.”

“Beej has a crush!” Lydia sang again, ignoring Beetlejuice’s protests. “Are you gonna tell ‘em?”

“Now why the fuck would I do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Lydia asked. “I mean, what could come of it?”

Beetlejuice looked like he was thinking, but in the way that meant he definitely wasn't. “Oh, let’s see: I could be stuck in a house with two ghosts who will forever pity me, I could be stuck in a house with two ghosts who hate me, _or_, and get this, I could be stuck in a house with two ghosts who will never talk to me again.”

Lydia shook her head. “Don’t be so dramatic, Beej. You don’t have to tell them _right now_,” she said. “You just have to woo them.”

Beetlejuice looked sceptical. “Is that really what you breathers do with crushes? Because of all the people I’ve haunted, two of them have actually asked their crush out, and they both ended badly.”

“I mean, when I had a crush I just ignored it until it went away, but­–”

“Perfect! I’ll do that,” Beetlejuice cut Lydia off. “Thanks, Lyds. You’re the best.”

Lydia decided that having an in-love demon and the ghost couple he had a crush on in the same house was probably not going to work out well, but she hoped that, whatever bad thing happened, it would be funny.


	4. Beetlejuice, A Stray Dog

The living room was strangely silent for the number of people sitting (or standing, in Beetlejuice’s case) somewhere in it. Charles and Delia had taken one couch, Adam and Barbara were on the loveseat beside them, and Lydia had taken to sitting (incorrectly) in the armchair, with Beetlejuice standing a small distance behind it.

“Can Beej stay, Dad?” Lydia asked Charles, who looked like he was mulling over the options of throwing a dead sewer rat into the trash or burning it in a fire. “He promised to not do anything dumb, or wreck the place!” Beetlejuice nodded in agreement.

“Delia, do you really think it’s a good idea to keep him here?” Charles said. “Remember what he did last time?”

“Charles, we did manipulate him and kill him. I think we’re pretty even as a whole,” Adam inputted. “And Barbara and I will always be home with him, anyway. It’s not like he’ll be left alone in the house.

Delia nodded. “I believe everyone deserves a second chance, Charles. Even Beetlejuice.” Beetlejuice never thought he would see the day someone was _willingly_ letting him stay in their home. Except for Lydia, obviously. But she didn’t count.

Charles sighed, and Beetlejuice was mentally preparing himself to get banished to the front porch for the indefinite future. “Fine, he can stay.” That came as a shock to everyone in the room, as far as Beetlejuice could see. “If he does anything _remotely_ dumb, he’s out, okay?”

“Geez, Chuck, it’s like I’m a stray dog,” Beetlejuice joked. “I won’t pee inside, or chew up your shoes.” Lydia giggled and Charles just sighed.

“God, help me,” he muttered. “You have to stay out here at night, though. No sleeping in Lydia’s room.”

Beetlejuice put up his hands in surrender. “Will do, or won’t do. Which would it be?”

“Come on, Beetlejuice,” Barbara said, stopping whatever argument it looked like Charles was about to start, “I want your opinion on something.” Beetlejuice was surprised enough that he didn’t even question it – out loud, anyway – and followed Barbara and Adam up to the attic, where Adam went about working on the model immediately. “Sit,” Barbara said, pointing at the couch pushed against a wall.

“Didn’t know you were into ordering people around, Babs,” Beetlejuice called after her. It got a glare from Adam, but one which didn’t have any force behind it. Beetlejuice just grinned in return.

Barbara returned holding a familiar shape in her hands. “I’ve been working on this for a month or so, only finished it this afternoon,” she showed it to Beetlejuice, who just stared at the sculpture.

If it were coloured and more ‘eating a demon of a mother’ size, Beetlejuice would’ve said it looked exactly like a sandworm. As much as he could see, the replica of the Saturn-dweller was perfect. Right down to the teeth inside both its mouths. “Wow, Babs, you made this?” Beetlejuice asked, breaking the silence that overtook the attic.

Barbara looked sheepish, placing it on a nearby table. “Yeah, is it good?” she asked.

“Babs, I’m pretty sure that thing could eat me if it were bigger,” Beetlejuice said, eyes flicking between Barbara and the replica. “I have no idea how you did it. That’s some kinda magic right there.”

“I told you, Barbara,” Adam said matter-of-factly. “It’s like you took a sandworm and shrunk it down.”

Barbara smiled, which Beetlejuice did not think was cute at all or anything. “I’ve just got to find a way to paint it. We don’t really have much left,” she said.

Beetlejuice thought for a moment. “What kinda paint do you guys need?” Adam frowned, but he held up two bottles, which he threw to Beetlejuice when prompted. Beetlejuice concentrated on the label and grinned when he felt the bottles become heavier. “Who needs to pay for stuff when you have free refills for life?”

Both Adam and Barbara stared at the now-full bottles of paint. Adam walked over and picked one up hesitantly, seeming uncertain if it was real or not. He opened the bottle and squeezed some out onto his hand. “You can just do this?” he asked Beetlejuice. “Holy… wow!”

“No need to get so excited, Adam. It’s paint,” Beetlejuice said, although he was not secretly happy to see Adam get so excited. “But yeah, I do need the label to do that kinda thing though, or to know exactly what I’m filling it up with, if you know what I mean.” He winked at Barbara at the last comment, who just rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Thank you, Beetlejuice. That’s very nice of you to do,” she said.

“Yeah, gives me something to do for a second.”

He needed a mirror to check the colour of his hair around Barbara, he swears, because both the Maitlands seemed very interested in whatever colour it had turned. “What do your hair colours mean?” Adam asked. “Do you know when it changes colour?”

Beetlejuice shrugged. “Sometimes I know, most of the times I don’t know when it changes colour. I know what green, red, and purple mean, but that’s about it. Stupid bein’ alive thing gave me more choices now apparently.”

“Do you know what white means?” Barbara asked. “It was white when you first appeared on the porch.”

“Who’s to say? It could mean anything from super pissed off to…” he trailed off, not wanting to admit the rest of that thought to the couple. “What colour is it now?”

“It was pink, but now it’s more of a violet-y colour,” Adam said. “Did we upset you?”

“What? No, you two are too _sickeningly_ sweet to upset me,” Beetlejuice said, standing up. “I’m going to Lydia’s room to lie on her rug and ignore my problems again. Enjoy your paints.”

He sunk through the floor and into Lydia’s room, which was occupied by said teenager on the bed. “What’s up, Beej? Thought you were with Adam and Barb?” Lydia asked, her attention taken away from her phone.

Beetlejuice stopped floating and landed stomach down onto Lydia’s rug. “This is very good for ignoring my problems on, and so I have returned to it,” he said.

“Ignoring your problems twice in one day? You can’t double-up on something like that, Beej. Debts gotta be paid,” Lydia joked.

“Lyds, I’ve been ignoring any problem I had for the past few centuries or so until they go away or get me stabbed or something. It’s worked out for me so far,” Beetlejuice said.

Lydia hummed. “Yeah, well, these problems are in the same house as you. Can’t ignore them for centuries when I’m around pestering you.”

“Why didn’t I just accept the porch?” Beetlejuice mused. “Would’ve been free from distractions.” Lydia threw a pillow at his head.

“Like you’d do that. You’d get bored within a minute and want to come inside,” Lydia said. “Wow, you really are like a stray dog. You got any commands you follow?”

Beetlejuice had to hold back from making an inappropriate joke. “Yeah, it’s called ‘shut the fuck up’ and that’s it,” he said, rolling onto his back and picking up the pillow that was thrown. “And I only listen to a few people, and they don’t include you. Sorry, babes.”

“Lydia! Dinner!” Delia called from what Beetlejuice presumed was the kitchen.

“And once again, we are cut short. Don’t destroy my room, I don’t want to put you in the pound,” Lydia said. “Continue ignoring your problems on my rug, I guess. I’ll be back after dinner.”

Beetlejuice just laughed. “Sure thing, kid. Now get lost.” As soon as Lydia left, Beetlejuice groaned. This day was going on forever, like 4100+ words or something. God/Satan, he would love to take a nap right there, but Chuck would probably yell at him or something for sleeping in Lydia’s room. Guess ignoring his problems on Lydia’s rug will have to do.


	5. Want to Meet My (Ghost) Parents?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay! got caught up with school work

Lydia woke up to yelling. Not angry yelling, but yelling that got her out of bed and down the stairs in 20 seconds flat. She was greeted by Delia standing on a chair while a striped snake crawled its way across the floor.

“Donna, would you calm down? It’s a sandworm, it’s not going to eat you,” Beetlejuice, who Lydia didn’t even realise was there, commented, floating cross-legged a foot off the ground in the living room. “She only eats ghosts and demons, anyway.”

He stood up and picked the sandworm off the ground, holding it towards Delia. “Beetlejuice get that thing away from me,” Delia warned, inching towards the edge of the chair. Beetlejuice laughed and put the sandworm on his head, making it disappear into the mess of green hair. “How did it get in here?”

“Probably looking for me,” Beetlejuice shrugged. “Sandy’s a bit attached since I fed her my mother.”

“Why doesn’t she eat you?” Lydia pointed out. “Aren’t you like a demon-ghost mix since the whole incident happened?”

Beetlejuice shook his head. “Nah, hundred-per cent demon here, babes. Me and Sandy are great friends anyway, she won’t eat me. She’s also tiny and couldn’t eat the ghost of a squirrel at this size.” He took the sandworm out of his hair and held her out to Lydia. “Wanna hold her?”

Lydia watched as Delia slowly got off the chair and backed away into the kitchen, keeping an eye on the curled-up sandworm. Lydia took the offered sandworm and laughed at the strange sensation. “It’s like holding a piece of fabric,” she said. “What _does_ she eat at this size?”

“Who knows? I usually kept her full-size in the Netherworld,” Beetlejuice replied. “I’ll probably let her loose in the backyard–”

“No!” Delia interrupted. “I really don’t want to come home to a snake in my garden, thank you.”

“One: she’s a sandworm, not a snake, and two: fine, I’ll keep her inside. Maybe A-dog and B-town have some ideas.” Beetlejuice took the sandworm back from Lydia, shooting her a grin in the process, and ran upstairs three at a time until he disappeared around the bend.

Lydia looked to Delia, who looked surprised. “I never thought he’d do something asked of him that didn’t involve destroying something,” Delia mused. “Hopefully I don’t see that sna– sandworm loose again.” She took a breath and grabbed a mug from the cupboard. “You should probably get ready for school, or else you’re going to be late.”

Lydia looked at the time and swore under her breath, bolting back up the stairs with a ‘language, Lydia!’ being called out behind her.

-[]-

Lydia didn’t exactly like school. Sure, she loved the learning aspect that came with it, but the girls that come straight out of _Heathers_ made it hell. Thankfully, Hayley being in some of her classes and sharing a lunch period made it somewhat easier to deal with.

She met Hayley at lunch, where her friend ranted for a couple of minutes about her art class. “I mean, sure, I can drop out of art whenever I want. But will I? Nah, sister, I’m in this for the long haul. If Kaitlyn wants me to let her take the top spot in the class she’ll have to kill me for it.”

Lydia laughed as she drank some too-sweet chocolate milk. “If you get murdered, you better haunt my house. Otherwise, I’ll kill you again,” she joked.

Hayley laughed, her glasses pushed up by the movement of her cheeks. “What’s up with you? What happened with that family friend you were talking about?” Hayley asked.

“He’s staying with us indefinitely,” Lydia said, remembering she told Hayley about Beetlejuice yesterday. “Kinda like the boarders that stay in our attic except he’s in the living room.”

“Your house must be pretty crowded now,” Hayley laughed. “What is it, like, 6 people now? I can barely handle 4.”

Lydia shrugged. “I guess I’ve gotten used to it by now, and our boarders are pretty quiet up in the attic.” As she remembered the conversation with Barbara she added, “They said they wanted to meet you, if you wanted to come over sometime.”

“You sure this isn’t just a ploy to possess me?” Hayley joked. “I’ve heard some weird stories about your house, that it’s haunted by the couple that used to live there or something.”

“Didn’t you move here, like, two months ago? How do you even know these things? _I_ didn’t know those rumours until I started school.” Well, Lydia knew the rumours were correct a couple of days into living there, but that’s beside the point.

Hayley nodded. “Yeah, but news travels fast. Our neighbours told us about the Girl Scout that went there and said she saw ghosts or something?” She switched to a voice which Lydia could only describe as ‘news reporter’, “do you have any input on this rumour, Miss Deetz?”

Lydia laughed and replied, “one comment: if my house was haunted I’d hope to know it by now.” Hayley nodded, trying not to smile. “Do you want to come and see the ‘haunted house’? Or too scared of ghosts?”

“Depends, you have an Ouija board? Maybe there’s a secret ghost living there and is just too annoyed with the number of people in the house,” Hayley said. “We can do those stupid ghost hunting shows that talk with demons like _Buzzfeed Unsolved_ or something.”

“I might have one, I’ll have to look.” Lydia was interrupted by the bell ringing. “Come over after school tomorrow?”

Hayley nodded. “I’ll ask my parents, but they’ll probably say yes.”

They parted ways for their next class, excitement bubbling in Lydia’s stomach. Even knowing Hayley for a total of two school days, it’d be fun to spook her a bit with Beetlejuice (if he wasn’t too busy being in love with the Maitlands).

-[]-

Before Lydia even got to the front porch after school, she could see Beetlejuice outside with a stick in his hand, trying to reach something in the grass. As he noticed she was there, he waved the stick like a hand. “Lyds!” he greeted.

“What are you doing?” Lydia asked, leaning her bike against the porch railing.

“Sandy escaped,” Beetlejuice said, pointing to a spot in the grass where Lydia could see the distinct black and white stripes slithering through the grass. “Don’t want Donna to freak out and punt her back to the Netherworld on accident.”

Lydia giggled and walked over to Sandy, picking her off the ground and walking her back up to the porch. “Where did you get her from, anyway? Don’t they live wherever Adam and Barbara went that one time?”

Beetlejuice looked confused, his hair turning a lighter green to match. “Whatcha mean, Scarecrow?” He took back Sandy from Lydia’s outstretched hands, letting her crawl up his arm.

“They tried to go onto the porch sometime a few months ago and disappeared,” Lydia explained, walking inside with Beetlejuice in pursuit. “Said they saw sandworms when they returned. Had a bunch of sand and stuff on them as well.”

“Oh, uh, sandworms live on Saturn. Pretty convenient food for them when ghosts try to leave their haunting parameters.” Beetlejuice frowned - which was a weird look on him - before he changed the subject. “Anyone at school I gotta beat up, Lyds?”

“Nah, but Hayley said she wants to come over sometime,” Lydia said. “You want to spook her with the Ouija board I have?”

“You have an Ouija board? Really, kid?” Beetlejuice said. “Don’t you know what kinda demons or ghosts you can pick up with those things? It’s like a hotline for haunting and possession. But H-E-double hockey sticks yeah we’re spookin’ your new friend.”

Lydia laughed. “Yeah, I never used it though. Luckily we know which demon we’re summoning,” she winked jokingly.

“I’m flattered, babes,” Beetlejuice replied. He thought for a while and grinned. “Want to see how big Sandy can get?”

“Is that even a question?”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! please stay tuned for the next chapter...


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